When I’m high, I watch YouTube videos. There are a few types that I watch.
There are videos of talking parrots which almost always fuck me up. Then there are old Vines that I watch on repeat and theorize where they came from. There are also process videos, a la How It’s Made, that constantly wow. Similarly, there are videos of massive, elaborate domino displays crashing to a finish that leave me breathless. From these videos, I ended up watching speedruns of video games to be happily stressed. Sometimes, this lands me on WatchMojo.com’s YouTube to watch silly top ten lists about odd things that I never thought about before.
Recently, I watched their countdown of the ten weirdest video games. What was number one? A series that I hadn’t heard of called Cho Aniki. The game is a semi-obscure Japanese game that originated in 1992 and is translated to “Super Big Brother.” The game is about bodybuilders fighting to save supplies of protein.
Also: it’s so gay. It’s maybe the gayest video game ever created.
Not only does it feature naked muscle men in thongs but it has them fighting phallic figures and riding each other and, essentially, fucking saving the universe in a literal way. Yes, it’s all supposed to be funny but it’s also terrifically gay.
Hardcore Gaming 101 explains in the most defensive way possible.
It’s just really, really weird. That picture, that of two buff guys involved in some good old fashioned cranial gardening, is about as homoerotic as Cho Aniki gets, for the most part. Yes, there are lots of scantily clad muscular men – a Japanese gay stereotype if there ever was one, and not exactly politically correct according to American society – but it’s played for laughs. There are the occasional bad guys locked in some horribly suggestive poses, there is a weapon called the “Men’s Beam,” and yes, the holes on the heads of the main guys do like slightly phallic.
Clearly, this was written by a straight person. All these aforementioned reasons are exactly why it’s gay. It’s like when straight people see two brides and say “Awww: bff goals!” Sometimes, things are gay. Get over it, straights: you can like things that are gay.
This is all to say: Cho Aniki is gay and it might just be the gayest game. I’m dying to try the series. Catch clips from the series below, the latter including a boss whose erection you have to shoot.