I once had a militantly vegan boyfriend. He was a documentarian and so cool and so funny and so irreverent and, in a way, the veganism made him the baddest of the bad boys.
How so? Well, he believed that the only animals that should be eaten are animals that consent to be eaten. This makes sense in many ways but, by that logic, what animal can give us consent in this way? Humans.
Yes, that was his philosophy. He took this belief so far that he was, at one point, crafting a documentary about seeking a human who would consent to be eaten. His grandmother had apparently given him such consent but, as far as I know, she has yet to die (since, in the eight plus years of our not-dating, this supposed film hasn’t come out).
Fortunately or unfortunately, he may have been beaten to the punch since a story on Reddit and on Tumblr and on some of the most filthy corners of the internet has been trending like crazy – and it’s more or less his idea: a man ate his foot.
The man in question apparently had his foot amputated after a bike accident in 2016 and, instead of having his foot disposed of, asked his doctor if he could keep it. What did he do with it? Serve it up as tacos to friends. The story is quite cringeworthy, the sort of true life tale that pushes your hands down your thighs in agony – but it’s also impossible to look away from.
Vice, thankfully, has this scoop by speaking with the man who ate his foot. He originally hoped to taxidermy the body part since he didn’t want it thrown away since, obviously, it’s his. He had no luck getting the part made into art and subsequently kept the body part frozen until he could figure out what to do with it. He cast the foot to be used as a door stop or something similar but, also, he hired a chef and invited nearly ten people to eat the flesh, as to not let it go to waste. It all seems surprisingly easy, almost cute.
They had foot taco, actually. While he says the experience gave him closure and was the heel of a lot of jokes, he also says he tasted pretty good. Here’s what he said, in his own words, for those cannibalistically curious.
People think it tastes like pork because in movies we hear it called “long pig.” But that term originated in places like Papua New Guinea, where they eat wild boar. They’re not eating our big, fat, domesticated pigs that have white meat. Boars don’t have white meat. They just don’t. I remember eating a heritage pig and it was some of the reddest, most flavorful meat I’d ever had. It was almost like venison. And I think it’s more akin to that.
This particular cut was super beefy. It had a very pronounced, beefy flavor to it. The muscle I cut was tough and chewy. It tasted good, but the experience wasn’t the best.
“The experience wasn’t the best.” That may be the understatement of this still young century.
There we have it. Thank you for this, internet. While I have never been so curious to “try” human flesh, this story certainly made me firmly realize that I am very much good with never taking a bite of myself.
(And, for those curious, yes, I did email this story to my ex-boyfriend, telling him that it is extremely his shit. He has yet to respond.)