Now that I’ve had a day or two to let the dust settle from the Drag Race finale, I have some thoughts. Let’s chat.
Before I even get into the final three thoughts, let’s think about the season as a whole: it was really great, wasn’t it? It had a rocky start and the bottom almost fell out a few times but, once shit got going like Naysha sashaying away and Derrick eventually dying, you could see the show for what it always has been. When you put distractions of lameness and bitchiness into the mix, it doesn’t work. This show is all about the heart, which I’ve been saying for weeks and the Times pointed out too. This season was a return to form. Keep praying all Summer that producers can keep it up. No more Season Seven ever again!
As always, spoilers ahead. Catch up on previous recapping of this season here.
3. Bye Bye, Buffer Episode—But Where Is A Live Episode?
You probably noticed that there was no annoying “HAHAHAHHAHAH: you need to wait three weeks until the finale so, here, enjoy these clip specials LOL bye.” tricks by Logo this year. That was so nice! Instead, it was a rush through the season without a gap, save for the DragCon space, which is a nice literal ad buy for fans. Without a beat, a week later the finale aired. Smart! The show knows what its audience wants and we don’t want shitty lollipops to pass the time: just give us the goods. The only thing about the finale at this point is, after four seasons of staged endings, it’s stale. We’re smart enough to know that all three queens got a chance to win, as to not leak the ending so, when Bob won, it was a glorious winning balloon deflating all over the stage because no one really seemed to care. It was just an act, a drag illusion of a win. So can we stop this? The technology is available and the show is more than ready to actually do a live two hour race to the finish. You’d have to tweak some things like the reunion segment, talking to judges, and the final three lipsync—but it’s not impossible. Drag is an art of liveness and, after four seasons of a live finale being live-to-tape, the show needs to step up its legitimacy with a live finale. I’ve worked on many live shows and know that what they are doing can be accomplished with some retooling of the creative. Doing another pre-taped finale is going to feel spoiled before it starts. Logo and World Of Wonder: step that shit up. Your audience will feel much more gratified, like they are there.
I was shocked by this. Our little cancer queen who was technically the third eliminated stole the crown for her #cucu. While she is as sweet as a pie of Spanish word soup, she seemed like a mega underdog for this title. Her over Thorgy? Really?? Are you joking? I was floored, especially since it was preceded by an extended conversation with Ru’s new surrogate daughter, Chi Chi, who really should have gotten some sort of title for being the most adorable queen to have ever graced the finale stage. Cynthia’s win wasn’t a rob but a reminder of how many great queens there were this season. It was sad to see our beloved Thogs and Chi Chi wander away without anything but smiles.
1. Bottom On Top
Did anyone else really, truly, actually think anyone but our Big Old Bottom Bob was going to win? Not at all. She was the most winningest queen not to mention all around perfect. Her win echoed back to Sharon Needles and Bianca Del Rio in terms of the queen being an all around triumph, someone who knew their brand and who brought it every ball. This isn’t to diminish Kimberly Chi or Naomi: those two girls are great—they’re just not Bob. Especially after seeing Bob’s finale lipsynch and interview? The other two felt flat, like Kim Chi’s was awaiting a reveal that never happened and Naomi’s a fun child’s play version of lipsynching you do in your mom’s heels when she isn’t home. Those girls are going to have bright futures too—but did they deserve to win? No. Bob earned it so hard. (Also, fucking Raja ruined the ending for me by updating her fucking cover photo prematurely. Ugh. Thanks, Raj.)
And let us slay all the way to the finish with some thoughts about everyone.
12. Naysha Lopez(Her butt talk was so useless. No one fucking cares—not even the Times, who took time out in that aforementioned story to diss her.)
11. Laila McQueen(I saw her in person at DragCon and she is a walking purple sausage.)
10. Dax Exclamationpoint(Dax was robbed this season. She’s so sweet and cool and, while she does lack some charisma, she was robbed. Justice for Dax!)
9. Cynthia Lee Fontaine(Already talked about her and I love her and glad she’s all cancer revived.)
8. Acid Betty(Like Dax, our Acid seemed underserved. I want so much for her because she’s so talented! Also, it was so sweet to hear how Acid helped Cynthia back to health. That was nice. Where was that love during the season?! You know it was left on the cutting room floor.)
7. Robbie Turner(Was she even at the finale?)
6. Thorgy Thor(Can we talk about how good Ms. Thorgs looked?? She was in her mother fucking element. I loved it. Also, another reason I was shocked she didn’t take the crown: of all the queens this season, Thorgs had the most fans and cosplayers at DragCon this year. She was the breakout, Katya of Season Eight…yet she did’t win Miss Congeniality. Oh whale.)
5. Derrick Barry(Saw her at DragCon and no one was trailing her for autographs. Also, can we talk about how cute her boyfriends are???? She’s the butterface of the gang.)
4. Chi Chi DeVayne(Still pouring one out for me boo, the only queen of the gang that I’m following on Instagram.)
2. Kim Chi(She has a makeup deal!! Also, everyone lookout for her Logo special with Ru where they meet her mom. That was a clear allusion to that idea.)
2. Naomi Smalls(She’ll get a modelling gig and follow in Milk and Violet and Fame’s footsteps. Just wait.)
1. Bob The Drag Queen (Well deserved. She’s just the best and who was predicted to win from the first episode…or was she?)
Actually, that reminds me: what was my first guess at the final running? I’ll leave you with that.
12. Naysha Lopez(Null: since she was out first.)
11. Robbie Turner (LOL. Finished seventh.)
10. Layla McQueen (Close! Technically finished eleventh.)
9. Cynthia Lee Fontaine (MAINTAINED!!)
8. Derrick Barry (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Fuck you, Derrick.)
7. Dax Exclamationpoint (A little higher than expected.
6. Chi Chi DeVayne (My baby! How did I doubt you?)
5. Acid Betty (This is where Derrick went out.)
4. Naomi Smalls (Close!)
3. Thorgy Thor (Two higher than where she was.)
2. Bob The Drag Queen (SCANDAL.)
1. Kim Chi (Right. I mean, error of aesthetics. The aesthetic queen always starts strongest for me, I guess. I’m a sucker for a babe.)
See you at All Stars!