Remember how everyday is a holiday now? Well, do I have a good one for you!
According to Checkiday—which I verified with Wikipedia—today is Feast Of The Ass. Yes, this “holiday” celebrated by Christians commemorates the passage of the Holy Family to Egypt after little Christ dude was born. The holiday spins out from Feast Of Fools but both are really about celebrating donkeys and their hard biblical work (because donkeys were a common means of transportation).
Unsurprising, this is a French holiday that was popular in the Middle Ages. According to The New International Encyclopedia, here’s what it is all about:
A burlesque ceremony highly popular in northern France during the Middle Ages. It was of the nature of a parody on the service of the Church, but seems to have been instituted in good faith and without any intentional irreverence. It degenerated, however, into scurrilous indecency, and was prohibited by the ecclesiastical authorities in the Fifteenth Century.
“Degenerated”: what the hell were these freaky French people doing with these asses? Were they fucking donkeys or getting all Drake on each other? This is just all fascinating news to me that I love because, duh, it’s a holiday called “Feast Of The Ass.”
Enjoy today, all you Powerball hungover people! And feast on that ass. Toss that salad like your name is Romaine.