TSA Sucks But TSA Pre✓ Doesn’t

Hi, this is a commercial for TSA Pre✓, paid for by no one but my love of TSA Pre✓.

You know how traveling sucks? You know how TSA lines are kind of like a constant flogging by human stank faces and human stank attitudes? Well, you can avoid all that by doing stupid ass TSA Pre✓.

Yes, TSA Pre✓ is great. See all those people in parallel TSA Pre✓ lines who are, like, happily breezing through the hell you are in? They got their TSA Pre✓ taken care of and are reaping the benefits. You should be one of them!

“But it’s too hard to do!”

First off, have you looked to see if that’s true? Because it’s not true: it’s totally easy. I, too, thought you had to go to some remote office in an airport and grovel to a stone faced, cerulean shirted pseudo national security officer but – Alas! – the process is much simpler. Literally sign up online, then find a local place to do a background check (Which, in my case and Bobby’s cases, were H&R Blocks or similar sites near our apartment.), in addition to a TSA Pre✓ fee. Then, you’re set for that easy ass line for the next five years. Like. It’s that easy.

If you take more than three flights a year or are lazy or hate waiting, it’s worth the fucking money. There really is no reason why you should be waiting and battling all the dumb lines when there are literally better ways awaiting you. No, I don’t know how CLEAR works but it seems like the same as TSA Pre✓ but only at select airports. Regardless, you have no excuse to not get TSA Pre✓. It makes travel so much fun and non-annoying, getting you through security in less than five minutes. That’s their promise!

And that is my TSA Pre✓ commercial because it feels like a very open secret that us stupid travelers aren’t taking advantage of. You have been warned. You have no excuse anymore to be mad at security.

Photo via.

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