Not only was Monday the premiere of the RuPaul’s Drag Race grand finale but it also saw a musical (“musical”) avalanche fall from the mountain of the top three: Violet Chackki released “Bettie,” Pearl released “Love Slave,” and Ginger Minj released “Oh LaLa Lala.” They are very different and great in their own ways—but only one can be the best. Who? Let’s discuss.
Violet Chachki’s “Bettie”
Music: A sing-talky something that is like a trap pop song gone electro. It’s not horrible! This is definitely something your parents won’t like but it is very, very well produced.
Lyrics: “It’s so nice to have a man around the house. / Dinner’s ready!”
Video: Violet looks absolutely great and the video is wisely styled in a hybrid of nerdcore meets burlesque meets Donna Reed. This is the great suburban nightmare. There’s a lot of bondage and spanking and naked men of all shapes and sizes, too.
Violet’s Aesthetics: Violet as Bettie Page is like the most perfect combination ever. Moreover, all the latex makes her look absolutely killer.
Final Verdict: This is great. The song isn’t perfect but the video is so well produced that you forget. Who knew Violet had this in her??
Pearl’s “Love Slave”
Music: This is a club song. It’s like a smokey, bassy club song that you hear and have no idea who or what it is and don’t really care because you want more to drink. Like it’s creator, it’s kind of sleepy. My one question: is Pearl the producer of this song? She’s not singing. And her album is supposed to be some EDM something so, like, what is her hand in all of this? idgi.
Lyrics: “Tu amore / Tu amore.” The rest is unintelligible Italian or something.
Video: It’s like a sex dream of latex and velvet: you feel soft and sticky and you want to wake up but Detox shows up and starts making out with Pearl and then you wonder if you should stay asleep, actually. There are bad special effects, too.
Aesthetics: Pearl as Sharon Needles.
Final Verdict: Eh. I’ll take the fragrance.
Ginger Minj’s “Oh La La”
Music: Every season there is a queen who can actually “sing” and she takes the end of the show as an opportunity to be “the singer” in the season. Ginger is this. She is this plus show tunes.
Lyrics: “You think I’m a bitch / What do you want me to say? / None of your words gonna get in my way / I hear you saying ‘Oh lala lala.'”: huh?
Video: I thought Pearl’s was bad but this is like suburban mom Pink Flamingos sponsored by Party City. It’s just kind of embarrassing. I like Ginger enough but, dang, she doesn’t have much taste. It’s also seven minutes long.
Aesthetics: Is Ginger that Dance Mom from the posters? I hate this. I hate her hair. I hate it all.
Final Verdict: I would not wipe my ass with this, even if I was an old or young suburban person.
So, the winner is… Obviously Violet. It could only be Violet. The other two are so bad. This should have been their finale test! The other two just did so poorly. Violet is the clear winner. Long live Violet! Sorry if I ever doubted you!