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What’s Up?

“What’s up?”

“Nothing much.”

“What’s up?”

“I’m fine: how are you?”

“What’s up?”

“I said I am fine.”

“What’s up?”

“I don’t know how to answer this.”

“What’s up?”

“Hi.”

“What’s up?”

“Okay. I’m OK. Is that what you want? What is up with you?”

“What’s up?”

“Look. I know you are asking me in a very colloquial way how I am doing but asking, ‘What’s up?’ always makes me stop, consider the phrase, and then reply in a way that makes zero sense. ‘What’s up?’ implies that I have something going on or that my hands and mind are juggling something. I am not. I was just walking to the bathroom and you asked ‘What’s up?’ a few times and I was thinking that my ‘nothing much’ reply was insufficient because I literally have nothing up with me or my hands so the ‘much’ implies something. OK? Does that make sense? Just ask me how I am doing. ‘Fine’ always seems like a ridiculous answer to ‘What’s up?’ Like, think about it: if someone asks you ‘What’s up?’ and you go ‘Good.’ that doesn’t sound right. It’s like putting a shoe on the wrong foot. It sounds ugly. Just ask ‘How are you doing?'”

“What’s up?”

“How are you doing?”

“What’s up?”

“Maybe I will just nod from now on and reply, ‘How are you doing?’ That seems good. Or maybe I will match your energy and repeat it back to you.”

“What’s up?”

“What’s up?”

“What’s up?”

“I think I get it now.”

“What’s up?”

“What’s up?”

“What’s up?”

Wassup?

“What’s up?”

“That’s actually a great idea. If I do that, ‘Wassup?’ thing then it’s all deflected and kind of funny. You know what I mean? It’s like I scratched an irony part and you will laugh. I’ll also bend my knees slightly and lean back with my arms out. It’s like, ‘I’m a guy! I’m a dude! We are looking at each other for the first time in some time and what the hell is happening in your life or do you want to make a beer reference?'”

“What’s up?”

“WhatsApp is an instant messaging app for smartphones that operates under a subscription business model. The proprietary, cross-platform app uses the Internet to send text messages, images, video, user location and audio media messages.”

“What’s up?”

“‘Whatsapp?’ I like that, actually. That’s like saying ‘Yellow.’ instead of ‘Hello.'”

“What’s up?”

“The ceiling? I have no other response for you.”

“What’s up?”

“Good.”

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