Imagine you are a grandmother who cannot drive well. Imagine that you are text savvy. Imagine that you have bad eyesight and limited attention. Imagine you are so bold that you text and drive. Imagine this is a game. Imagine that you are not imagining and it is a real thing: this is Gran Text Auto
The game is a combination driving and typing simulator where you play as a grandmother who must dodge cars while texting many random, mobile conversationalists. It works by your accelerometer acting as your steering and your texting working Mavis Beacon style, you filling in the words before you. When you crash, you basically kill a bunch of people and you are a terrible grandmother. You are Gran Text Auto.
Also, the entire game is made out of emojis. “Like many teens in sunny Los Emoji, California, Gran loves surfing, parties, chill vibes, and most of all TEXTING!” the game’s description says. “But Gran is 88 going on 20 doing 60 in a 30!” This is great. It’s a genius play on so many things and teaches you that, yes, texting and driving is fucking horrible…or extremely easy? I hate that I thought that while playing. You engage in a narrow dance with death, a near similar activity to what Russian teens do for fun.
Bobby tipped me off to the game over the holiday weekend and it is quite fun. If anything, it is something to talk about with friends. This game creams “VIRAL!!!!!” all over you. Major props to the team who came up with this. Also, it’s free.