The New Power Suit

The Prime Minister of India—Narendra Modi—is apparently a Top Diva Fashion Queen 1000. He’s the type of boss bitch who doesn’t have to speak the type of elegant, silk rose that he is: he instead embodies it, literally wearing it on his back. This is not a joke: he absolutely does this. He met with President Obama and wore a pinstripe where the stripes were made from his name. 

This is the mark of a true diva. This is the mark of a boy who demands “Buy me a drink.” before you can give him a kiss. This is the type of person who—I hope—sleeps in everything monogrammed, wrapped in embroidery so thick that even his silver chesticles curl into the letters P.M.N.M.

The suit apparently cost only four thousand pounds (HOW.) and is popular amongst South and Southwestern Asian dignitaries. This is the type of leadership the entire world needs. This is the type of ‘tude and pomp and flat out self-loving-bitchiness that all people should strive to have. He’s the fucking Prime Minister of India: that sort of flair gets you places. Moreover, the former President of Egypt has a similar suit.

This is the new power suit. I’m not sure how top brands like Marc Jacobs and Thom Browne will be able to lampoon this without the designers permission but, boy, you know this is coming. If I can track the designer down—and get it at an affordable price—I will definitely procure a pair of pinstripe shorts, designed to broadcast the words “FAGGOT • GAYWAD • FUDGESICLE • BUTTFUCKER • PENISULA” with a sharp, tight, snap diva cadence. It will get people’s attentions. They will know my faggotry.

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